Can you believe it??

Okay, so I know it has been forever since I posted, and I have a myriad of excuses....great excuses!! But...the truth is, I have not been seeing any results, and I was getting discouraged. So alas, no posts. Not a great excuse, but the truth none the less.

So today I was at school (excuse #1) and a friend of mine asked me if I lost weight. I noticed that my pants were not as tight around my big Brazilian boo-tay as they had been in May, so as soon as I got home, I weighed. And, guess what?? I lost weight! Yep, I weighed in at 122.4! Pretty cool, eh? That's a 6 pound weight loss. I don't think it's water because today I drank 64 ounces and have yet to go to the bathroom.

So, I started thinking. Did I lose weight because of the Shaklee?? Bonus $500 if I did, but unfortunately, I quit using Shaklee in June due to allergies. Could it be from the Nutritional Response Testing? Probably. That would be the most logical reason...eating better, watching my portion control, taking supplements. But then I started thinking, I realized the real reason was because I had been talking with an adorable man that I met through a "mutual friend" (yep, let's just leave it at that). We emailed, we talked on the phone, we texted. It just seemed right that we meet, right? Everything was going swimmingly and he was ADORABLE!! Can you hear the Jamaican drums and singers chanting, "hot hot hot"? Yep, I heard them, too!!

So we met! And, well, he didn't seem to hear any bells or chimes of his own. Alas, rejected again. But this time, the skinny me got pissed!! She fought the rejection by emerging from her Nutella covered shell. She hasn't stayed out, but I think she will be back, sooner than anticipated.

So, the remedy for a broken heart?? Find your skinny self and realize the savior's precious blood is all you need. Works for me.

school days are here again!

So this week begins the days that I set up the classroom, preparing for the bulletin boards, setting up the desks, arranging my little area, making the room sunny and happy! Just now, a pit rolled over in my stomach! That happens every fall. I get super excited about the kids and super sick at the same time.
This year, I am disappointed. Not about my class! I am excited for the grade levels I will be working with this year...even if that does mean SIX FCAT tested areas! YIPES! No, I am disappointed because the skinny me did not reveal herself. She remained hidden. I guess she has had enough school and wanted to stay out of it for awhile. Chicken. She should have shown herself. Been brave and faced the excited little faces with me. Oh, well, her loss.
Skinny me, when I do find you, I am going to make sure you stick around for a long long time...and you will go to school with me every day! HA!
My search is not over. I will find her. I just have to use different tools and tactics, pull her out of hiding. I will find you, Skinny me, make no mistake about that. I will find you...one day.

summer is almost over! : {.

Wow! I can't believe that summer is almost over! Wahhh!
Am I crying because I can't stay up all night and then sleep in the next day? Probably. Am I crying because I won't be able to go to the bathroom whenever I want? Yep, I think so. But the main reason I am crying that summer is over is that I still have not found the skinny me??? I have tried, searched, worked out, ate correctly, gagged down supplements, and DID NOT WEIGH!

I can't believe that it has been almost two months and I have very little to show for it! sigh

Skinny me, where are you? Did you move to France without me??

can't believe I forgot to weigh!!!

It's Monday!! I usually don't enjoy Monday mornings very much...means the end of a relaxing or fun filled weekend, but today, I LOVE MONDAY...and, even more so...I LOVE MONDAY MORNING!!! Yeah!! I never thought I would say that!! I love Monday morning???

It's true, I do! Today I woke up and realized that I totally forgot to weigh myself on Friday...my weigh day. Totally forgot!! Not just an "ugh, I don't really want to weigh myself today because I know I did not lose any weight" or a "do I really have to do this and feel horrible about myself the rest of the week?" NO! I totally and completely forgot! Woke up Friday morning wanting to play Just Dance! Threw my sweats on, moved the sofa back as far as the way...again...made a healthy breakfast of homemade granola and almond milk, picked up Joshy and then danced the morning away! I think I even beat Olivia! ONCE! But, hey, I beat her!!!

[ here is the link for granola recipe...I use agave syrup instead of honey...same consistency and well, I can't have honey! YUM!!
http://renegadehealth.com/blog/2008/05/28/the-best-raw-granola-on-planet-earth-and-possibly-elsewhere-the-renegade-health-show-episode-62/ ]

Truth is, I am afraid to weigh. I do not want to see that no results have been made in my weight loss quest. I do not want to feel badly about my body, especially since I am getting older and unable to stop that. I do not want to feel as if all the effort I have been making is not showing any results on the scale. All of that is true. But, I don't think about that until way late in the day when it is just too late to weigh. I know, I should be able to weigh at any time, whenever I remember...just keep it consistent and limited to once a week, right? No way....I way in the morning only! Before I eat, after potty and before I do anything else. And, since I am trying to be good at this...I only weigh on Fridays. So why have I not weighed for 2 weeks??? I totally forgot because I had something more fun on my mind...Joshy and dancing!!

[ site on when to weigh for best weight loss results...
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=55489 ]

That's the key to me to not be soooo obsessed with this weight loss... keeping busy and keeping focused on something else. THAT IS HUGE for me!! To focus on something besides my weight?? I have not done that for at least 30 years!! I am doing it now!

I know I have not lost any weight...my pants are still tight when I put them on straight out of the dryer. My shirts still cling just a little too tight for my comfort. I still can't wear all the cute clothes I bought 2 summers ago that are amazing still in style! That's how I know I have not lost one pound! I know that. I guess the difference is that now I have accepted it.

I am doing everything "right" according to all the experts on how to lose weight:
1. diet....no sugar, no honey, no soy, no dairy, no fun....got it! Doing great with that!
2. exercise...3 times a week at the Y, training with Justin once a week, dancing like crazy on Just Dance or Dance Dance Revolution. Loving that!
3. sleep...ah...wonderful sleep....I LOVE this part of the regiment! Yeah, summer!! I love you!!
4. levels check...once a week with Dr. Walsh, seeing progress each week! Yeah!
5. reading scripture...also reading Love to Eat, Hate to Eat by Elyse Fitzpatrick.

[ http://www.harvesthousepublishers.com/books_nonfictionbook.cfm?productID=6914382 ]

No weight loss. No "new & cute" wardrobe. No success story to win $500! So, what DO I have to show for this?? I've been working on this over a month, with a LOT of accountability! I write down everything that enters into the huge portal on my face. Olivia keeps me honest, that's for sure. Dr. Walsh checks levels. Justin trains me. So, what DO I have to show for all of this??

Well, I forgot to weigh on Friday and did not even think about it until this morning, and I could not weigh because it was MONDAY!! Yeah!! THAT'S what I have to show for all of this!!!

Okay, got to go...time to DANCE!!!

[ http://www.nintendo.com/games/detail/lsuOIrpVDZGNKP-14iVQumsPxZ8e_LmR and...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JzcqALklRs ]

I saw a shadow!!

That's right! Last night at the Y when I was training with Justin, I saw a shadow of the skinny me! SHE WAS THERE! Of course, she was fleeting as shadows are, but I saw her none the less! Do you know what that means?? HOPE!! I am going to find her one day!! Yeah! Now the hunt is on!

I gotta tell ya, I was very surprised to see her! We played Dance Dance Revolution for 4 1/2 hours Thursday/Friday. You would have thought that she would have showed up then, right? I mean, it's a great workout and tons of fun.

I did not even think about her last night. After we went to the doctor, we decided to stop at Thai Thai Village for the absolutely BEST food in the world...yellow mango curry! Yes, I did have a little bit of the rice that was served with it...so I broke my "no grains for a week" attempt. I was actually encouraged to do so by my doctor. When I told him about it, he reminded me that I am a carbo/protein mix based on my metabolic blood type, and if I wanted to find the skinny me, I needed to actually step it up and eat actual carbo/protein meals. He did say that whole wheat breads and even whole wheat pasta is not what I particularly need. He suggested, again, the brown rice, the rice noodles and the rice bread. All of which I have at home. But I did not have yellow mango curry at home, so Thai Thai it was! No sign of the skinny me at dinner. If it were up to me, and someone was serving yellow mango curry, THAT would be the place I would show up!

Not her, it was at the Y! And, it was not even until almost the END of the workout session. Her shadow passed before me when I was doing reverse door kicks on the inclined bench. I was in deep agony, sort of, not really, but if I let Justin know then I would have to do a lot more, and let me tell you, after a yummy yummy dinner like that, I was tired. So, I was doing the right amount of kicks in the right amount of time and I could actually feel the muscles in my stomach responding! How that happened while they were buried deep under a bowl full of yellow mango curry, I just don't know. But for a second, there she was....the skinny me!

And, it's about time, too! I have been in search of her for a while, as you know. And let me tell ya, she is very illusive. Great at hiding, especially after dinner. Usually no where to be seen, not even a glimpse.

Ha ha! I almost got you!! Next time, next time! I am going to find her, you can count on that!

No carbs week begins tomorrow!!

Last week, before heading to the doctor, I filled out the metabolic eating type questionairre. Found out I am carbo/protein mixed type. That works great, except I have such a high intolerance for wheat/gluten. I know that not all carbs come from bread, but that is my favorite type of carb! That's for sure! I tried the carbo/protein mixed diet and really liked it. Who wouldn't, right? I loved it, but my body reacted pretty negatively...bloated, gassy (sorry, Olivia!) and just down right uncomfortable. The carbs I eat are rice, rice noodles, noodles made from veggies, quinoa, rice bread. Carbs that should be healthy, right? I thought so, too. But, they were still having an adverse affect on me, healthy or not....( I really need to say sorry to Olivia again! ha! ) So, after talking with Trinh, I decided to give up pastas, rice, bread, grains...only for a week to start. If I feel a big difference, then I will give it up for longer. If there is no difference what so ever, then I can slowly add back in the healthy carbs I had before.

So excited!! My no grains carbs tryout begins tomorrow! Woo hoo!!

lack of motivation...sigh

So...in reviewing my blog, I realized it has been over a week since I have posted any progress..or regression...in my quest for the skinny me! Alas, she is still out of my reach, still hiding somewhere behind the jar of Nutella, I am sure, nowhere to be found. So, to continue with this quest, I must review what I have done since the beginning of this blog.

Work out? Check.

Maybe not as often as I should. I tend to be an extremist, I found out. I either work out all the time with no rest in between sessions to heal and grow, or I work out not at all, just wishing I could fit into my skinny jeans, munching on sugar free cookies. This summer, I implemented the help of a trainer, not only to help me know what is the best work out for the results I want, but also to keep me motivated. Thank you, Justin!! And, I have the best work out partner ever...OLIVIA!! Only problem is that we have been hit with a little snotty sore throat bug that also likes chocolate and does not like working out. I think that bug is almost gone, so our routine begins again. Yeah! Work out? CHECK!

Sleep? Definitely check. That is an area that has not been lacking this summer! LOVE SUMMER VACATION!!

http://www.better-sleep-better-life.com/benefits-of-sleep.html

Diet? Check! No dairy, no soy, no honey, and no refined sugar. I know, sounds like no fun, but we are actually making it work! It's amazing what recipes we are developing in the pursuit of this way of eating. Last week at the doctor's (nutrition response testing), Olivia & I were told that we were progressing beautifully! He actually called us over achievers! Yeah! Just wish the fat would listen, and leave.

http://www.drwalshcares.com/index.php?p=29108

Supplements? Absolutely check! I am even taking the ones that stink! Zypan! Nasty stuff. It is healing my body from all the years of eating everything I wanted even if it was bad for me.

Motivation?...Motivation?...ahemmm...MOTIVATION?

Ah, so that is where the issue lies. I have all the other parts of this project to be successful. I am working out with a great partner, eating right...and often (6 small meals daily), getting plenty of sleep, and taking my supplements as needed. But what I am lacking most is motivation.

Maybe I am just lazy. That could be it. Maybe I like just sitting on my couch, huddled under my big blanket with the air conditioning pouring out cool air, watching Food Network and the Cooking channel, and every once in a while, Jerseylicious....okay, I know that is a crazy show, but have you seen it?? It's hilarious!

If I stay there on the couch, protected under my heavy blankets, I don't have to face the fact that my weight is not coming off no matter how much I work out or what I do NOT eat. I don't have to face the fact that after almost 10 years of being divorced I am still single with absolutely no hope in finding the right guy. I don't have to face the fact that after the recession hit, I mean depression hit, not getting a kick backs from the investments, I am a little more grounded.

So...what am I really thinking about all this?? Do I really think that if I lose the weight, work out 'til you can bounce a quarter off me... (right now when I try that, I lose the quarter! When I tighten up, I may end up being a millionaire with all the cash lost! hahaha!!!)...look good to my standards, that I will meet and fall in love THEN?? IS THAT WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD??? Maybe. Probably more the FRONT of my mind, really….as often as I think about it. When I was thinner, I did have guys asking me out. Not the right guys, but guys. Now that I am heavier, no one is even looking, much less asking. IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT?? Is that where my motivation is coming from? If it is, then no wonder I lack motivation. hmmmm...I need to think about this one.

My motivation can not come from the "possibility" of finding love. I can not base my hope in a man. Unless, of course, that man is Jesus Christ. Every other man will let me down. Has let me down. Even my made up imaginary beautiful French man will let me down. So, if my motivation can not be for "love"...then what?

Health?? Well, sure, I would be much healthier if I lost 20 pounds. But, according to my doctor's visit, I am doing great My sugar levels are way down, my asthma is almost a non issue. I am sleeping all through the night. Even Justin told me last training session, that I was actually in good shape, health wise. I can walk 10 miles in one sitting and not die. So, if not for love and not for health, then for what??

For Christ? He did say that our bodies are His temple, that we should be ready to do His work at any time. That, without a doubt should be my motivation. To be ready to work for Him…but, I am. Really. What He has called for me do so far, I have done. He provides my health. He provides my ability. That should be enough, right? Then why isn't it?

Clothes? Well, maybe. I do have a closet full of really cute clothes that I can not fit into to. I am not ready to give them up to Good Will or sell them at a garage sale just yet. I know I said I was, but in all honesty, I am not. I still want that skinny me back!!! Is that my motivation?? I WANT THAT SKINNY ME BACK FOR ME!!!

Then if THAT is my motivation, why isn’t it working?? Why am I still not losing weight?? Why do I still feel huge?? Why can I not fit into my skinny clothes? I am working out, eating right, taking supplements, sleeping!! Definitely, sleeping. So why am I not seeing any results??

Oh, yeah, it’s because of my age, right? I don’t buy that. I see women older than me who look fantastic! I want to look fantastic! Hey, I would settle for “good” right now; fantastic later.

It is so discouraging, frustrating, humiliating when I do what I can and have nothing to show for it!! ARGHHH!!! I know, I know, it will take time. It did not get put on overnight, so it won’t come off overnight. I have been told that a lot, but what is discouraging is that it has been more than just overnight that I have been working on this. I know I can be so hard on myself. It is just sooo discouraging. I am not going to stop. I will keep eating right. I will keep working out. I will sleep the right amount. I will keep taking the nasty supplements. I will not stop.

I will not stop.

Thank you for letting me vent!! Hope to post better results, progress, next time!

TWO WEEKS!! It's been 2 weeks!!

Wow! Two weeks since I started blogging on my quest to find the skinny me. Where is she?? I haven't found her, or even any remnants of her, but I have found other things along the way....a better way of eating, a great workout routine with a great trainer, and a sense of acceptance... if that skinny me never shows her face again.

I've accepted the fact that I may never be able to fit into my skinny clothes again. ; {. I've accepted it, but not yet very happy about it. So, why are my clothes still tenderly packaged, waiting in decorative IKEA boxes for a day when they will finally be worn? I don't know! I am holding on to them in the hopes that I can actually wear them again while breathing. I probably should actually put them to good use and let someone else wear them while they are still in style. hmmmm, EBay sounds like a good idea right now! Think I'll spend the extra few minutes I have this summer...yeah! LOVE summer vacation!!...selling my old favorites! Great!

Day 10!

Psalm 136:1-3
Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever.

Sooo true, sooo important that we know this that it warranted being repeated by the psalmist THREE times!! Sooo true....Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever.

Yeah! Weigh day!! and guess what?? Yep, down 2 pounds from my original weigh in! I know I fluctuated some, I am sure, and at the doctor's I gained 5 from the original weigh in...but since I started with MY scale, I will keep 'score' with MY scale! As wishy washy as my scale is, after three minutes, it decided upon my weight...128. But when it fluctuated, it fluctuated between 127 & 128!! 127 & 128!!! NOT 128 & 129!! woot woot!! You know what that means, right?? After I go to the bathroom, I will weigh even less!!! BUT since I am not doing the obsessive weight control thingy...bummer...I can not weigh again until next Friday! June 25...I can wait until then...gives me more time to eat better, take the supplements and feel great! YEAH!! Did I mention that I finally lost weight?? Okay, only 2 pounds, but in 2 days!!!! wooot wooot!!

The best part is, I feel sooo much better!! The supplements the doc gave me are fantastic! I can feel my body trying to heal and get regulated. God is sooo good!! If I had not gone to the doctor at this exact time, my health would be in major jeopardy. Of course, I worried about being able to afford the visits and supplements and the healthy food...you know, eating better is very expensive! God provided a way and our health is so much better for it! ALREADY!!! Can you believe the difference? My body and my God prove it to me every day! SInce I have been off the Shaklee shakes (bummer no $500 bonus).... and I have been using the natural organic supplements, I wake up energized. What? Me waking up eneregized?? Absolutely!! And, I am not starving! AND...I am not bloated, gassy or irritable!! THANK YOU, GOD, FOR BRINGING NUTRITION RESPONSE TESTING INTO MY LIFE. I guess, He has plans for me that include me staying alive for awhile. Had I stayed on the other path, I have no doubt that I would not have lasted much longer. I could feel it, you know what I mean? I did not feel good, ever. THIS is great!!!

Now I love going grocery shopping! It's a little more expensive, I have to admit, but it all evens out in the long run...less money on doc appts for Live & I and less money on expensive meds for high blood pressure, liver dysfunction, kidney infections, adrenal failure..and that's just ME! It all evens out. God provides. Always. Every time we go grocery shopping now, people talk to us about our food choices...mostly because they are not your typical grocery list faire. Last night, we were in the mood for Mexican food, so we had delicious tacos, but ours included organic shells with no high fructose corn syrup or gluten, ground chicken, tomatoes, onions and green peppers, spinach, goat cheese all sprinkled with lime. and guess what?? It was delicious!!! We felt great...not hungry, not stuffed. I love this way of eating and living! And, bonus...we lost weight!! YEAH!! Ok, so it's only 2 pounds, but YEAH...lost 2 pounds!!! in 2 days!! When I started this 'program' ten days ago, I had been on here a full week without any results...no weight loss, bloated all the time, gassy, and moody, did I mention, moody? Boy, was I moody!! So glad that part is getting regulated! YEAH for natural God given supplements!!

Did I mention that I am not going to do the shakes anymore? Even though I am a big supporter of Shaklee, I am allergic to the main ingredients...soy & whey...I knew that!!!....so until I get my body balanced out, I need to stay away.

Something else I am staying away from....popcorn! Ouch!! Seeing Toy Story 3 this weekend and no popcorn for me, thank you very much!

Skinny me, I am getting warmer! I am going to find you one day soon, and when I do, I am never going to let you go! Maybe I will sew you on like Peter Pan did with his shadow...hmmmm...that's an idea!

last day of the Shaklee shakes

wellll.....i didn't think about getting weighed at the dr's office. As it turns out, I gained 5 pounds!! Let me repeat...I GAINED 5 POUNDS!! I know that is no big deal for someone not counting pounds, but let's face it...I'm counting everything!! Including pounds! So, time to reevaluate. Okay, so let's say I just dismiss the weight gain (ha ha ha ha ha, like that is going to happen!!) and go with the rest of it. I feel tired ALL the time. I am hungry all the time. My clothes are actually tighter than they were last week. I did not do measurements, but if my jeans or sweats are any indication of my measurements, then I did not decrease any there, either. Bummer. And, did I happen to mention that I am hungry all the time? I constantly think of food and have incredible cravings. I feel as if I should be thinking about God all the time, but instead I focus on food....what is my next meal going to be? How much fat is in it? How many calories? How much? How much? How much?

Yesterday at Epcot, we took all the rides...Soaring, Circle-Visions, boat rides ( or clam rides, really)... and in each ride, all I could think of was God's amazing glory! This home that He gave us temporarily is incredible! I am totally in awe of His creations. THAT should have been my focus throughout the day. But guess what I was REALLY thinking about??? FOOD!! Go figure. My sin is plastered all over me...and now the internet! hee hee!!!
So, I am redefining my 'diet' program...for now, I am going to eliminate the Shaklee Cinch shakes....bummer...there goes the $500 bonus! : {.

My results from the nutrition response testing are going to drive the way I eat, work out, sleep; and my relationship with God is going to drive how I respond to everything!! The results showed that I am unable to tolerate soy, refined sugar, honey, and dairy. I can use evaporated cane sugar or Truvia for sweeting my foods. And, if I have to have cheese, I can have goat cheese or sheep cheese... both Olivia and I love goat cheese and I think Publix has Feta made with sheep cheese. I am soo excited for Olivia!! The only limitations she has are no high fructose corn syrup and no dairy. This releases and frees her up so much! Before she was intolerant to everything except spinach, cabbage and tomatoes. That did not last.
Well, going to work out now, so I will post more later!

Day 7...yeah!! We made it!!

Day 7 already?? I can't believe it has been one week since I started the Shaklee Cinch 'diet' plan. Can't tell if I lost anything yet...find out on FRIDAY...weigh day!! I used to get excited about pay day, now it's weigh day???? hmmmm.

Olivia wants to do the shakes with me...need to research that before I agree. We went to Disney yesterday, Epcot, and besides our frozen drinks, non-alcoholic, of course!....all we had to eat were teeny tiny quiches and a teeny tiny apple tart in Paris. Where else would you expect us to eat?? Totally delish! Very cheap! And, we did not feel full at all. Got over heated in the 100 degree sunshine, but that comforted us in knowing we worked off with walking and sweated off anything that we ate...and then some! It was rough to come home exhausted and only have a Shaklee Cinch shake for my sensible dinner. But an orange for a snack took the edge off and I was able to go to sleep not starving! Great day!!

Going to the doctor to get results on my nutrion response testing! SO excited! I'll post results if you are interested. If you get a chance, check this out...look under Nutrition Response Testing. http://drwalshcares.com/index.php?p=29108

Day 5...already??

Wow! This week has blown by! I can't believe I am already on day 5 of this diet...I mean, life style change. I have not lost one pound, well, I don't really know that for a fact, but I do not feel like I have. My pants are actually tighter!!! yikes!! I woke up this morning, ready for church but Olivia is not well, and we are going to Disney tomorrow! Yeah!! So... I made her stay home and rest! I took a quick walk and feel a little better, but still feel really thick around the middle. It's hard not to get discouraged when I feel as if I am giving up so much, in eating, and not really seeing any results. I don't expect to be super skinny right away, even though that would be really cool, but I did expect to at least see a teeny tiny itsy bitsy difference. Nope, nada, zilch....actually, the only difference is that I think about food a LOT more. hmmmm.

Got tomorrow all figured out! A Shaklee shake early and one late when I get home....a salad in between! And, hopefully, we'll be burning up tons of calories walking around in the sweat box we loving call Florida! Yeah! Can't wait!!

Thank you soo much for your support!!!

Saturday!! Day 4

Had a great workout training session with Justin last night. Still feeing it this morning, so I figured I better mention it again...youch! He insisted I implement the element of rest in my workout sessions...time to build, he says...so today is going to be a day of rest. Still two shakes for breakfast and lunch, and of course, a sensible dinner (my new highlight of the day!!) and going to the movies...maybe. I really really want to see The Karate Kid with Liv but have no idea how I am going to stay away from the popcorn!! Maybe that can be my "sensible" meal?? That seems like an oxymoron. Gotta think this one out. Doing so well, that I do not want to jeopardize my weight loss. I mean, you can't tell that I lost any weight, and since I haven't weighed in 2 days, I really have no clue if I really lost anything, but I can feel it in my bum as I attempted to get out of bed this morning and use the restroom!! hmmmm....what to do...any suggestions?? I wish the skinny me would show up soon, I'm sure she would know what to do!

whew!!

Wow!! What a workout! Justin trained us on our bodies, the equipment, and the form...but most importantly, about our hearts! This matter of losing weight really does go a lot deeper than I am giving it credit for. We sweated, we laughed, we learned, we did it! We did it! Great now I am starting to sound like Woody! Hardest part was coming home....tried, I mean, tried to walk upstairs and wobbled the whole way there! Yipes! I love working out!!

Day 3...whew! made it past day 2!!

Woke up this morning feeling neither hungry nor tired! WOW! Day THREE is going to be a great day. I gotta tell ya, it about killed me not to weigh this morning. I had moved the scale into the closet last night, but c’mon, the closet? I can so totally just pop in there in 2 secs to get it out. I didn’t. I didn’t weigh today!!

Even though I wasn’t starving, I went ahead and had a Cinch shake. This time I added a banana. Don’t know if that is “allowable” by Cinch standards, but it is going to be a long day. I need the extra umph to make it through today. I don’t know what it is, but the shakes by themselves do not satisfy me for long. Can’t wait until my stomach shrinks.

So excited!! Olivia & I are getting trained at the Y tonight! YEAH!! Wow! What an exciting way to spend a Friday night, eh? Well, since summer vacation started, it is hard for me to tell one day from the next. So, yes! What an exciting night for us. Tuesday, I thought I would train Olivia myself. That worked out well, for a little bit, and then we got to the pull down machine. That used to be my favorite. By the time we finished, I knew I had to ask Justin for help! sigh Will try to squeeze in an outdoor 5K before we go!


Since we are doing training tonight, we will have our sensible meal this afternoon. Crazy day, got to make time for it. Funny, how before I started this “meal plan”, the kids would ask me what was for dinner. I would mentally go through a “planned menu” that we never stuck to, and then mentally go through the refrigerator and cabinets, and still usually say, “Let’s have pizza.”

Now, I plan out every single real meal I get each day and I look forward to it as if it were a relative from Brazil that I have not seen in years. Yes! We are going to have coconut curry rice tonight! I rearrange everything in my kitchen to accommodate that one meal.

Well, today looks promising and I am looking forward, really forward, to weighing myself next Friday! Yipes! Never thought I would say THAT!!!

great idea for staying motivated to work out

This is a great idea from DaveZinczenko, via Twitter...TREAT YOURSELF THIN: Put $5 in a jar when you exercise. You'll stay motivated if you use the savings for something fun.
hmmmmm, I want to do this! Now, to come up with the $5 for every time I work out!

the end of Day TWO...not as bad as I thought it would be

So my sensible dinner turned out to be at el Leoncito's, a cup (not a bowl) of black beans and rice. And, OF COURSE, a few chips and salsa! yum!! I feel great, not too full, not at all hungry. Passed up desert...no churros, tonight, baby!

I'm taking Cindy's advice and ditching the scale! Feels great! Feels like I am finally getting rid of that guy that keeps nagging me to get together again. Not today, sweetie, or even tomorrow. I am putting that scale away for an entire week! GASP! One week?? Yes, I can totally do it! Hey, if i can pass up warm, crispy, cream filled churros coupled with sweet, cinamonny whipped cream that melts in your mouth with every bite, then I can do anything! Skinny me, are you listening?? I AM going to find you!!

the beginnings of Day TWO

Romans 12:1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, [1] by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

This morning, I woke up soo tired. And, starving! The only thing getting me out of bed was needing to go to work…last day of tutoring for HP! ( Even now as I am writing this, I keep thinking…hmmm, I would LOVE to write this from my bed, lying down, with my eyes closed. Yep, that’s the way to do this.)

Dragging myself to the bathroom, I stepped cautiously on the scale…128 then 127. 128 then 127. For 30 seconds it could not make up its mind! (Reminded me of an ex boyfriend…one day he wants to go out, the next day he didn’t. I was coming to feel as much animosity towards my scale as I did my ex!

Stephen Phillips said, “In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale.”

It finally decided on 128 lbs. Can’t say I’m not a little bummed. I was hoping to see results, or a result, today. Does aching body count as a result? Does dragging around with no energy count as a result?

I know there has to be other ways to make these shakes fun, tasty and lasting longer than a hour. Cindy gave me this info: http://www.cinchclub.com/

When I came home from tutoring, I noticed my cup left in the sink. The shake powder was glued on the sides. I scrubbed and scrubbed and still could not get it all off….made me think what this is doing to my insides. Suggestion: drink lots of water to rinse away any gluey goopiness on the inside.

So…. Today looks like this:

Wake-up weight: 128 lbs…still!

Before breakfast snack: 1 medium banana (105 cal) and 8 oz water (0 calories!!)

Breakfast: breakfast: 1 Shaklee Cinch shake (190 cal) with Almond Milk (90 cal), 16 oz water (0 cal!!)

mid-morning snack: Planters nut*rition digestive health mix (150 cal)

lunch: 1 Shaklee Cinch shake (190 cal) with Almond Milk (90 cal), mixed with ½ a banana (55 cal) and 1 C strawberries (46 cal), 16 oz water (0 cal!!)

Then I was able to get in a super quick…and short….walk. Going to the Y with Olivia tonight so will work out more then.

So far for today, it looks like this:
Total calories allowed: 1226
Total caloric intake: 916 (yipes!! That only leaves 310 for dinner. Planning on having coconut curry rice for dinner. I think that is a little more than 300 calories! Those shakes are so high in calories for leaving me feeling so hungry & tired….hmmmmm)
Total calories expended: only 70 calories

Still hungry, still thinking about food. There is a new snack recipe I want to try. Here is a link for Raw Vegan Strawberries with Cream Recipe by Tracy Russell.
http://www.incredibleraw.com/recipes/raw-vegan-strawberries-with-cream-recipe/

Reality check: you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life. ~Phillip C. McGraw, The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, 2003

The end of Day ONE...finally!

so, I went to the Y with the encouragement of my daughter...yeah, Olivia, thank you so much!!!...and actually did another 5K, this time on the treadmill. According to the SmartTrac I burned 322 calories (YES!!) walking 4.2 mph at an incline of 4.0 for 47 minutes! I know, majorly boring stuff...but the good news is, I did not quit...wanted to, really, but did not quit. And, it is definitely because of this blog. I am committed to being honest and open and willing to accept any advice!

I gotta tell ya, working out to curb your appetite did not work so well for me. I was starving when I got to the Y. I jumped, literally, on the treadmill, cranked up ABBA on my iPod and got busy, really hoping the hunger would go away. It did not, my stomach was making lots of protests to working out instead of eating. And, if you do not know, I am a LOUD grumbler, both in body and, well, I have a blog, right? I was feeling great about myself. Feeling as if I had accomplished what I set out to do today, diet wise. I ignored my belly and kept on it! I noticed I had people looking at me, in a weird sort of funny way. I still kept on it! It wasn't until I popped the earbuds out & heard my angry belly that I realized why they were looking. sigh. So much for pride, eh?

I decided on a small bunch of grapes when I got home. The worst thing to do is go to bed starving...I wake up starving even more and there is no chance of survival for the diet at that point. One of my goals is being healthy. I do want to lose weight, but I want to do it in a healthy, encouraging, spiritual correct way. Next time, I will try the grapes a little before working out.

Bon nuit, my friends! The batteries to all my accessories are now depleted! I look forward to hearing what you have to share!

1 Corinthians 6:19 - 20...You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Day ONE continues

yeah!! Olivia wants to go work out together at the Y! I am so excited. She is going to keep me motivated.
After the 2 shakes, I am starting to get a little hungry. Pretty sure that is from knowing that ALL I had to "eat" today were the 2 shakes, you know what I mean?? So, we will work out instead. Dr. Oz says that if you work out that curbs your appetite. Excited about that! This site of Oprah's also gives some tips to curb your appetite. http://www.figurefriendlyclub.com/healthy/oprah/
so excited to work out some more! LOVE summer vacation!
hmmm...will need to adjust calories expended! YES!

Day ONE

wake-up weight: Yikes! Do I really need to do this part?? sigh.... 128.00 lbs
doctor's recommended weight: 110.00 lbs....18 to lose

exercise: 5K with Jennifer @ 8am, walking about 3 mph...140 calories burned; All Star Workouts on FitTV for 60 min...247 calories burned

breakfast: 1 Shaklee Cinch shake (190 cal) with Almond Milk (90 cal)...280 calories total, 16 oz water (0 cal!!)
caloric intake goal...1,226 calories per day (for right now... as I lose weight, that will be less! yeah!)

lunch: 1 Shaklee Cinch shake (190 cal) with Almond Milk (90 cal); 16 oz water (0 cal!!)...280 calories total
note: I wasn't really hungry, but I was also not not hungry and I was afraid if I did not "eat" lunch then I would binge out on other foods in my refrigerator.

dinner: 2 cups baby spinach (20 cal); 1 cup watermelon (40 cal); 1/2 cup fat free feta cheese (198 cal); 8 pitted calamata olives (84 cal); 1 TBS EV olive oil (126 cal) and TBS balsamic vinegar (14 cal). 16 oz water (0 cal!!)

total caloric intake: 1,042!! -184 what I allowed! yeah!
total calories expended: 387; okay, so I did not use up more calories that I ate, but...this is the first day, right??

I almost can't wait to weigh myself tomorrow morning...almost.

It's time to start...no more excuses

okay, so it is tomorrow! I keep telling myself that I will start my diet tomorrow....or the first day of summer vacation (which happens to be 19 days ago!!) or the first of the month (which was 9 days ago!), so, I started today. I am doing this really differently, I am going to use the Shaklee Cinch program and see if their claims really do work...what do I have to lose? except, well, 20 pounds!

I'm starting today!

I am writing this blog for several reasons. One, I want to encourage someone if they are struggling with weight issues and if this works for me maybe it will work for them. Two, I need accountability, and encouragement myself. My pride is huge and if I blog about this, then I will definitely stick to it. Three, hey, if I am successful, maybe I can send in my success story and win $500! Yeah, bonus!!

my goal? lose 20 pounds by August 9 (that's 2 months, totally do-able, right??), definitely shape up, not be so embarrassed that I have to go to the beach fully dressed & wrapped in beach towels, fit into the amazingly cute clothes I have and be a good role model for Olivia...that should be number one. Oh! and, to make my body healthy and happy so God can use me for better things than plopping on the couch watching mindless tv shows...enjoyable, but mindless nonetheless!

So, this brings me to the daily eating program: 2 Shaklee Cinch Shakes (one for breakfast & the other for lunch); and then of course, a sensible healthy dinner...isn't that what they all say? What is a sensible healthy dinner when you are allergic to wheat, dairy, soy, & refined sugars just for starters? I guess lettuce with no dressing. BORING! I will be off this diet before tomorrow if I just eat that. So, I am going to experiment. I have more than a dozen cookbooks and I LOVE Food Network & The Cooking Channel, surely I can come up with a "sensible" dinner idea, right?? If you have any ideas, please share. Okay, so that's taken care of.

Program cost: cafe latte shake mix $40.80 for members for about 15 servings...one week's worth. Yep, that can be expensive, but it is taking the place of food for 2 meals a day...14 a week. Almond Breeze milk $3.29 ( I NEED that to mix in with it. I tried water and it was to clumpy to even swallow and tasted like a protein shake...for me to make this work, I need to make it taste yummy, or, I just won't do it.) And, dinner. Tonight we are having my spinach/watermelon salad...so the cost is: spinach $2.99 for 5oz; watermelon uncut $1.77; fat free feta cheese $2.39; calamata olives (the expensive and tasty part of this salad! yum!) $3.19; and EVOO mixed with balsamic vinegar that I already have stocked in my cabinets.

so...it looks cost friendly, that excuse blown out the window.

It's easy to do, too. I started this morning. I mixed 2 scoops of the shake with 8 oz of almond milk. I had to put it in a big plastic cup in order to get the hand held shake mixer to fit in the cup. No matter how hard I mixed, I still had the powder caked on the side of the cup, and I wasn't able to get all the shake mixed that had sunk to the bottom of the cup, sinking slowly through the milk. Hint, pour the milk in first. You get a powdery cloud of shake, but it seems to mix more thoroughly. However, I wasn't satisfied with the texture of the shake, so I tried whisking it. Still, it was slightly clumpy, and as I said earlier, there is no way I was going to be able to swallow this shake if it was NASTY!! I tried the shake bottle that I bought from GNC but all the clumps would not go away. So, into the blender it went. About 5 seconds on liquefy...seriously, only 5 seconds, and it was ready. Perfect! I poured it into a GLASS cup rather that a plastic one and I was ready to roll...well, hopefully, with this Cinch program, there will be less rolls to roll!

so...Let's get started! Each day, I will blog my weight upon waking up (YIKES!! SERIOUSLY???) By doing this, I will be more honest, humbled (that's for sure) and more apt to actually follow through. I will also blog any exercise that I partake in and how many calories burned. And, this is the most important, I will blog about every single thing that enters my mouth. How's that for accountability. I will also share my feelings and experiences, hints or ideas, and any way to help make it easier for someone else.

okay, it's time to go in search of the skinny me! I know she is in here somewhere!